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Personal stories from the people of First Euless

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Lehanne Doyle

My view of God has been changed and remolded several times in my life and I still feel at the age of 34 that I only know the surface of God.  I want to tell you that My God is Faithful at all times and he will complete the work He has started in us! 

My story is full of all the makings of a great drama.  There are moments of great joy, terrifying moments where I don’t know if I was going to live and deep sadness through loss.  Since we don’t have time for the page turner the brief synopsis follows.  First I want you to know that during all of my life changing moments I now see that there were two natures at work.  First, God  is always present and was there for me  even when I felt I was spinning out of control and the second is the deceiver who is able to create lies as fast as light. 

I accepted Christ as my savior when I was 7 and there was nothing I wanted more than to please God and sing to Him all day.  My faith seemed solid; I knew my bible stories, prayed and had great foundational knowledge of God.  This continued for the next 7 years.  However, my story took a huge turn at 14 when my step-father died.  I was already an emotional basket case due to other events in my child-hood but this sent me to new depths rather quickly.  I choose to believe the lies of Satan over the lies of My God and sank to feeling utterly worthless and unloved.  This caused so many hurts and such brokenness I was unsure that I could ever be made whole again.  I turned to drugs, alcohol and men to numb the pain or get a feeling of worth.  But all this just made it worse.  No one could understand how I turned out like this, I was such a good girl before, but now I was a mess.  At 19, I noticed glimpses of God working in my life more and more.  I knew he was there but I was still running either because I knew I was guilty or still angry at him for my sufferings. I got married at 20 and started at family at 21 all while never getting rid of my old habits, hurts or fully trusting God like I had at age 7.  I had learned too much and now had too many scars to believe that God was as accepting as he was when I was younger.

However, bit by bit God began to bring me back to Him.  There have been several turning points where God has torn away a piece of my unbelief or hurt.  At 19 it was realizing that my hurts were not related to my worth and that life was not about me.  At 21 it was learning to let God direct my steps and for me to start trusting Him.  At  28 it was that marriage is not easy and that arguments are a result of selfishness (James 4).  At 31 He taught me that I am deceiving only myself with my double life and God wants all parts of my life (Luke 12:2).   Each step has involved pain and healing and most importantly knowledge of God’s love. 

The root of my suffering began with believing the lies of Satan.  He is out to steal kill and destroy us and he is prowling at all of our hearts ready to devour us.  I let him in and he devastated my life and my emotions.  During all my unfaithfulness My God has been there each step of the way to bring me back.  He has been at my side since I was 7.  Every decision I made he was there for.  He loved me enough to let me choose to go the other way and He loves me enough to place people in my path to turn me back.  The truth is He love me enough to die for me so that I may have a relationship with Him, it is truly miraculous.  I pray you know my God who is Faithful to even when we are not.

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