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Personal stories from the people of First Euless

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Susan Gifford

I was born into a very good life in a loving family with loving parents.  My parents were both Christians and had had to try for a pregnancy for ten years before I was born.  I also had a remarkable and loving set of grandparents, also Christian, with whom I spent  much time growing up.  My dad’s parents had died when he was a child. I was surrounded by a family who unconditionally loved and treasured me.   But many times I felt alone and inadequate-not because of my family – it was me.   I was a little shy and awkward around other children.  I needed reassurance or approval or acknowledgment of achievement from someone else to feel worthwhile-my  mother, my teacher, a neighbor’s parent. But all the adequacy was transient and as each moment flowed by I again doubted my worth.  I had to be the best, to perform, to think better thoughts no one else had thought.  I was lost because I had to be perfect to be good enough; since perfection is impossible no matter how hard I tried, I could not be good enough!  And when it came to God I felt I truly had to be perfect.  There was no peace because every second, every action or lack of action could undermine my worth.

Before I can remember, I heard about Jesus.  I grew up with Him.  We said thanks to Him before eating and at bed  before sleeping.  I hoped He was hearing what we were praying.  My parents seemed to know He was.   One of the gifts my dad gave me was the love of reading.  We used to read together- when I was six each our own book- every night.  I soon began reading my Bible and truly learning about God.  My parents chose to not go to church but they took me every Sunday. When I was seven I was reading the Bible at night before sleeping, and going to church on Sunday, and despite my loving family, felt hopeless and alone and unworthy because I could not be perfect.

One Sunday I went to church and Jesus came to me, and the words I had been reading in the Bible became crystal clear.  He had given His life to save me!  And I was good enough because He is perfect and He gave His perfect life to pay for my sins!! If He was my Saviour, and I had a personal relationship with Him, because He had paid for my sins with His life, I was good enough because His sacrifice covered me once and for all.  I am forgiven forever and totally. My final struggle was to seek approval and permission from my parents for such a life changing commitment to Jesus!  After going home and telling them I wanted to accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior, they asked me to wait two more weeks for my grandparents to come.  However, the next Sunday when the Lord called me to Him when I was at church, i accepted Him.  My parents and grandparents were not there but I was not alone- I had Jesus my Savior- and I had forgiveness for not being perfect, for every sin!!  Today I do not have to seek approval from others- I have freedom- I please God not men, and I know He loves me and I am worthy because of Jesus even when I stumble with pleasing God because I am saved by faith through His grace and not by works! 

So I moved from doubt and having to have approval or remarkable achievement to be worthwhile (forget perfect!!), which would have brought me to the point of hopelessness and death,  to having security in my worth in Jesus, and in my forgiveness when I make a mistake or am insensitive, by intent or omission.  I know my Redeemer lives and i will live through eternity with Him.  I know through hardships, or joy, I am never alone and unworthy and I am unconditionally loved!

I am a sinner redeemed by the blood of Jesus who took my place and gave me forgiveness and His righteousness eternally.

I am not ashamed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rom 1:16  I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes

2 Tim 1:12  Yet I am not ashamed, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him for that day.

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